What A Difference A Song Makes
by harmless128
Summary: Listening to the radio brings clarity to our charming duo
1. What do I do?

What A Difference A Song Makes  
  
Author: Beth  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah right....If I owned them, trust me they would not be where they are  
now.  
  
Summary: Listening to the radio brings clarity to our charming duo.  
  
Spoilers: Boomerang I & II  
  
AN: This is my very first fanfic, so please be gentle. I know it is set in Season 5, but I was watching Boomerang the other night while listening to this song. The song is "Angel" by Aerosmith. I hope they don't mind me borrowing it for a bit. It is my hope that I am staying true to the characters, and I don't mean for them to sound bitchy or whiny. I just tried to put myself in their shoes and react. Since I have no beta reader, the mistakes are all mine. I am also writing both Mac and Harm' POV. If it gets confusing, let me know. Anyway, on with the story.

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1130 ZULU

Sydney Harbor  
  
**Mac's POV  
**  
Having just got off the ferry, Mac had no idea what to do. She just couldn't get the scene out of her mind.  
  
_Flashback  
  
Harm: "In any language, what man understands a woman?"  
Mac: "You're referring to me? Oh, let me guess, you don't understand why I was at the beach with Mic."  
Harm: "That opera house is beautiful isn't it?"  
Mac: "Smashing. So, what bothered you, that I went to the beach with Mic or that you thought I was topless?"  
Harm: "You weren't?"  
Mac: "Harmon Rabb! You're a prude!"  
Harm: "I am not! Look, I don't care if you wanna go topless."  
Mac: "You do if it's in front of Mic."  
Harm: "You work with the guy Mac! You wouldn't go topless in front of me would you?"  
Mac: "Is that a request?"  
Harm: "You know they wrote eternity on this bridge on New Year's Eve?"  
Mac: "Is that how long we're going to wait?"  
Harm: "Mac..."  
Mac: "We're not in Washington any more, we're not even on the same continent."  
Harm: "That doesn't change who we are."  
Mac: "Most men would disagree with you."  
Harm: "I know, I disagree with me sometimes too."  
Mac: "But you still can't let go."  
Harm: "Not yet."  
Mac: "Your just like this with me aren't you?"  
Harm: "Yeah, only with you."  
Mac: "I suppose I should be flattered."  
Harm: "You should Sarah."  
  
End Flashback  
_  
I can't believe I just did that! I gave my heart to him, and he just threw it back. I just don't know what to do now. How and I going to face him now? He is my best friend. How can he not know I love him!  
  
'Maybe because you never told him directly.' The little voice in her head whispered.  
  
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!"  
  
Lost in her own thought, Mac slowly made her way back to the car not realizing at the same moment, Harm was doing the same. She opened the door and got in. Once inside, the tidal wave of emotions overcame her, and she collapsed on the steering wheel and began to cry.  
  
**Harm's POV**  
  
With his head in the clouds, Harm made his way to his vehicle. Before he realized it, he was sitting in his car. "How did I get back to my car!" he wondered. Pushing such trivial thought away, Harm began to replay the events of the night.  
  
_Flashback  
  
Mac: "Is that how long we're going to wait?"  
Harm: "Mac..."  
Mac: "We're not in Washington any more, we're not even on the same continent."  
Harm: "That doesn't change who we are."  
Mac: "Most men would disagree with you."  
Harm: "I know, I disagree with me sometimes too."  
Mac: "But you still can't let go."  
Harm: "Not yet."  
Mac: "Your just like this with me aren't you?"  
Harm: "Yeah, only with you."  
Mac: "I suppose I should be flattered."  
Harm: "You should Sarah."  
  
End Flashback  
_  
Slamming his hand on the steering wheel, Harm began his tirade. I'm and idiot! A complete ass! How could I just do that to her! Mac, in not so many words, offered me what I have been fantasizing about for the last 4 years! I should be back at our hotel making love to her at this very moment, but nooooo, I had to go and push her away. To make matters worst, I reenacted the murder wit her. God, I am such and idiot. Why can't I jut tell her that I love her!  
  
**Mac's POV  
**  
Drying her eyes, Mac steeled herself. I will not let him do this to me. I will not give him the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt me once again. It is time I forget Harmon Rabb Jr. All he does is cause me pain and heartache.  
  
'You know that's not true. Jut look at all the good memories you two share. Remember the promise you both made. There is always hope.' The little voice in her head tried to be a voice of reason, but Mac's heart wanting nothing to do with it.  
  
But is there any hope left in me. I don't know if I can keep doing this....If my heart can take the beating. I don't know if I can survive the next time he rejects me again. You know what! There won't be a next time. It is time to put an end to this once and for all.  
  
Putting the key in the ignition, Mac pulled the car out and started back to the hotel. Her kick-ass marine persona firmly in place. Pulling onto the secluded road, Mac turned on the radio. It was a feeble attempt to forget the events of the evening. She quickly found a good rock station, and that's when her resolve cracked......  
  
**Harm's POV**  
  
Rubbing his hands after going 20 rounds with the steering wheel, Harm made himself a promise. I will not let this go. Mac deserves so much more than what I have done to her. I have to find a way to make this right.  
  
Pulling the tattered picture of him and his dad out of his wallet, Harm said a silent prayer. Please dad, you have always been there for me, in spirit, when I needed you the most. Well, dad, I need you now. More than ever before. Please help me to find a way to express to Mac how I truly feel, I have never been good at relaying my emotions to others. It is so much easier to shut people out. That way, I can never feel the pain I felt when I lost you. But what I feel now is almost 10 times worst. Mac is my heart and soul. She captured it the first day we met in the Rose Garden. Time and time again, I have found ways to push her away. Please let it not be too late to make amends.  
  
Harm started the car and began the journey to the hotel. Sighing, he turned on the radio with the hope of banishing the events of the night into oblivion, and that's when he heard it......

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AN: Well what do you think? Would you like to see more? I have more if you want it. You just have to let me know 


	2. Why does this have to be so complicated?

Thank you so much for the reviews. As a beginning writer, I never understood the importance of getting feedback. Not that this is the only reason I write. But it does help;). Even if you don't respond, I hope you enjoy th story as much as I enjoyed writing it. In case you're wondering about the R rating. I reserved it for future chapters that may, how can I say this, get a little physical. Anyway....on with the story.

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Welcome to HRSM radio. Your home for today's rock favorites. We have a special dedication tonight. This song goes out to all the lost loves tonight. May you find you way home.

_I'm alone_

_Yeah, I don't know if I can face the night_

_I'm in tears_

_An__d the crying that I do is for you_

_I want your love_

_Let's break the walls between us_

_Don't make it tough_

_I'll put away my pride_

_Enough's enough_

_I've suffered and I've seen the light_

****

**Mac's POV**

A lone tear trickled its way down Mac's cheek. Great. This is exactly what I need right now. Of all the songs to come on at this precise moment, this had to be the one. Although there was something different about this song. It seemed to be calling her. Trying to make a connection to her heart to help her realize what she needed to do.

Mac tried to make the tears subside, but it was no use. The dam was cracking once again.

Damn him for making me feel this way! And damn this song!

Mac was about to change the station when a voice called out to her, telling her not to change the station. There was a reason this song was on.. Mac began thinking about the words of the song, and that's when it hit her.

This is exactly how I feel right now. I didn't want to be alone tonight. I wanted to finally face my feelings for Harm. I wanted him to see past this tough-as-nails front and see the real me. Not Mac the marine, but Sarah the woman who loves him. But what does he do!? He rejects me yet again. What the hell does "Not yet" mean? How much longer am I suppose to wait? I was hoping that allowing my defenses to go down he would let his down too. I guess I was wrong, maybe I'm just not good enough for him.

Frustrated and defeated, Mac made her way back to the hotel. It seemed that there was no resolution to this debacle. Her emotions were like a roller coaster when it came to him. He could make her so mad that she would want to kick his six all the way to Mars. But there were times that all he had to do was flash that flyboy smile of his, and her heart would melt. Indecisiveness swept through Mac like a tornado. Her mind and her heart torn between wanting this man, and deciding if she should set him free.

Little did she know, Harm was on his own emotional roller coaster.

**Harm's POV**

Harm sighed as he heard the song. He hadn't heard this song in such a long time. As he listened to the song, her replayed the events of the night in his head.

I hurt her again. It seems all I do is hurt her. All I needed to do was open my heart to her, but I couldn't. Why does she scare me so much? My God, I remember the look on her fact tonight. It reminded me of the day I lift to go back flying. I just wanted to hold her forever, and take away all her tear. You weren't the only one who couldn't find the words, Sarah. I wanted so much to tell you how I felt, but I didn't want it to be a one-night stand. When we decide to take that next step in our relationship ('if that's what you want to call it' the little voiced quipped), I want it to be forever. I want to wake up with you in my arms for all eternity.

Running his fingers through his hair, Harm came to a conclusion.

I can't keep doing this to her! She deserves to know how I feel!

As Harm was pondering what to do next, the song continued to weave it's way into their hearts, into their very soul.

_You're my angel __Come and save me tonight __You're my angel __Come and make it alright_

**Mac's POV**

I can't even count the number of times he has come to my rescue. The first time I can recall was when those poachers were chasing us. I remember the look on Harm's face when I was shot. It looked like he was the one wounded, not me. I honestly think if he could have taken the pain away that day, he would have done it in a heartbeat. I had to laugh afterwards when I thought of his little speech about women in combat. Hell, I'm are in combat everyday. Not like I run around with an M16 strapped to my shoulder, but I fight everyday to prove myself worthy to wear my uniform. I worked damn hard to get here too.

There were other times he has saved my ass. I mean, he was there for me during my article 32 when everyone else thought I was guilty. He refused to think I could have murdered Chris. To make matters worse, he didn't even know about the affair I had with Farrow. I can still see the hurt in his eyes when he found out. Yet, he still stood by me. He definitely saved my six that day.

Then there was the time he was there for me when I fell off the wagon. Not one of my finer moments if I do say so myself. I can't believe I said those things to him. I'm glad he had the courage to walk away when he did. I never thought I could be so mean to him. I guess it's true what they say. You only hurt the ones you love.

**Harm's POV**

At night, when I'm alone, I see her. She truly is my angel, my marine, my Sarah. She has always been my guardian angel. She has saved me from myself so many times. I remember when she followed me to Russia. My father has always been an obsession for me. I needed to know what happened to him, and Mac was there for me. She knew I wasn't going to give up until I found out if he was dead or alive, and she stood by me. She protected me from myself. I always feel safe when I'm with her.

'If that's true, why are you so determined to push her away.' The little voice sniped.

"Oh what am I going to do!?" Harm said exasperated.

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Well here is the next installment. There a lot more where it came from too:) 


	3. What does love have to do with it?

Thanks so much for the suggestion. If you know of any beta readers, I may just use one. Sorry for the short chapter. My computer has a virus, so a lot of my stuff if gone, and I have to rewrite everything. I also apologize for the double spacing of the song. It refuses to cooperate. Just to let you know, I'm changing the rating to PG-13. I don't think I'm going to take to story as far as I once thought, but I might change my mind with a little convincing ;).

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_Don't know what I'm gonna do_

_About these feelings inside_

_Yes it's true _

_Loneliness took me for a ride_

_Without you love _

_I__'m nothing but a beggar _

_Without you're love A dog without a bone _

_What can I do _

_I'm sleeping in this bed alone _

_Baby_  
  
**Mac's POV**  
  
Conflicted, Mac continued to listen to the song.  
  
I really don't know what I'm going to do now. I know I love him. Hell, I can't think of a time I didn't love him, but I'm not going to beg for his affection like some dog. I'm tired of feeling lonely and sleeping in my bed with nothing to keep me warm but a nice romance novel. I can only take so much. Can't he just give me a break once in a while?  
  
There are times I see him staring at me, and I get a glimpse of something more in those blue/green depth. Part of me wants to believe what I see in his eyes is true, but I really have no basis to prove it. He refuses to act on them damn it! Am I asking too much to have just a little reciprocation here. I mean I took a big risk tonight. I let myself wide open for him to take what I think he wants. I risked my heart one too many times for him to hurt me again. I don't' want to let him go. He's been a part of my life for so many years that I don't know what I would do without him.  
  
**Harm's POV**  
  
Now you see, there is the problem. I don't know what I'm going to do about these feelings. I love her so much, but on the other hand, I've hurt her so much. I remember the first day she and I met. I was so shocked to see Diane's twin right in front of my eyes that I was afraid I must have been dreaming. I tried to charm her right from the start, but she saw right through that. She almost had me convinced that I was starting to think my feelings for her were only because she reminded me of Diane. Then that night on the dock happened. I don't know if I would have killed him that night, and now I guess we will never know, but I do know for 100% certainty who I was kissing that night. I was saying goodbye to Diane, and saying hello to the beautiful marine standing right in front of me. I didn't want to let her go home that night. I won't lie to myself and say I'm not tired of sleeping in my bed alone and living a life of loneliness. Come to think of it, I've always felt alone. Ever since I lost my dad. I always felt a connection to him. Mom was so caught up in her grief that she didn't notice my sense of abandonment. I don't blame her for that, but a small part of me always felt she abandoned dad when she remarried Frank. That's when I took it upon myself to keep that connection with him. I would be damned if I gave up on hem, and at the same time, promised myself I would never allow myself to feel that way again. The pain was so intense, I figured if I kept everyone at a distance, I would never hurt again.  
  
Then I met Mac. She blasted through every barrier like it was a piece of paper. She took my control and threw it out the window. Every time I'm with her, I feel like I am pulling 9 G's. I've always been a control freak, but Mac makes me want to lose control. And that is what scares the shit out of me.  
  
The final verse of the song is what drove the message home to both of them.

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Again, sorry for the short chapter. I will be out of town and may not get back to this till Monday. 


	4. Can I fight this feeling anymore?

Well here is the rest of the song and their thoughts. I hope everyone is enjoying the story. Thanks so much for the ones that reviewed. For those who didn't, I hope you like the story also. I'm not asking for people to review, but I really do enjoy reading everyone's opinion. I'm leaving in a few hours and will be out of town this weekend, so I may not get to write again till Monday. That's also if I don't decide to blow up my computer. I promise to update as soon as possible.

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_You're the reason I live  
  
You're the reason I die _

_You're the reason I give when I break down and cry _

_Don't need no reason why_  
  
**Mac's POV**  
  
Turning into the hotel parking lot, Mac pulled her car into thee first available spot. As the last verse played, Mac came to a conclusion once and for all, and nothing was going to change her mind.  
  
I'm tired and fighting my feelings for Harm anymore. I can come up with 100 reasons why I should walk away, but there is only one reason why I should stay and fight. It's the one reason that overpowers them all. I love him. It's as simple as that. I don't want to hide behind this marine persona anymore. I want him to love me the way I love him.  
  
Doesn't he realize he's the reason I spend and extra 20 minutes on my hair and makeup even though we are only having a working dinner, and I'm not even going to venture a guess as to how long it takes me to pick out something to wear. I would much rather wear him, but that is our dilemma.  
  
Does he even know what that grin of his does to me? I know I told him it doesn't work on me, but I was definitely lying. I could have the crappiest day known to man, and all he would have to do is smile at me. When he does that, I get so weak in the knees that I can hardly speak. He could ask me to climb Mt. Everest naked, and I would do it in a New York minute. I would do anything for him, just as he would do the same for me.  
  
Doesn't he realize he's the reason I get chills down my spine when our hands just barely touch when he hands me a cup of coffee. Or when I add that extra sway to my hips when I'm walking away from him. I am a red- blooded woman, and it is time for me to get me that man!  
  
With a newfound determination, Mac exited her vehicle and began making her way back to the hotel, hoping to settle the score with one Harmon Rabb Jr. She wiped away the tears she didn't even realize were still flowing from her eyes. What she didn't realize was that Harm arrived back at the hotel just minutes after her, and he was parked just a few cars away.  
  
**Harm's POV  
**  
I can honestly say that I never thought a song could have such a profound effect on me. If anything, this song has helped me to realize what has been in front of me all this time. It has helped me to face my emotions, and start conquering my demons. It is with Mac's help that I hope to overcome them all. That is if I didn't sink the chance I have with her.  
  
If she only knew the effect she has on me. Hell, I didn't even realize it until this song came on. How could I be so blind to not see what's been in front of me all this time? I guess I never really thought of her as anything more than my best friend. (Yeah, right, and I got ocean front property in Arizona' the little voice chuckled). Ok so I did think of her more than just a friend. ('There you go. It's good to be honest with yourself'). Mac is the reason I want to be a better person. She makes me want to let my defenses down and let people get close again.  
  
When I was searching for my father, he was the reason I lived and breathed. I would die trying to find him. I remember telling that to Mac once. I had such an intense loyalty to him that I didn't think it could ever be replace. Well, it wasn't exactly replaced. I just augmented it to fit someone just as special to me.  
  
I will always love my dad, but what I feel for Mac is almost unexplainable. I don't know how to even begin to describe it. All I can say is that I don't know what I would do if I lost Mac. If it did happen, it would be like a piece of my heart died, and it would never be replaced.  
  
Man if she only knew what she does to me. I have never met anyone as passionate as Mac. Watching her in the courtroom, my thoughts wonder just how passionate she would be in my bed. She just looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes of hers, and I get lost in their depths. I would sell my plane to see her smile. It's as if it brightens the room she is in. And that laugh. It could chase away any darkness in my mind. I bet Mac would laugh at me if she knew the real reason I show up at her place late. I do it to see the look she has on her face. She'll open the door with a look of frustration, but I can see that smile behind her eyes. I know she says my grin has no effect on her, but I beg to differ. All I do is smile and apologize. She may get a little pouty or picky (of course she doesn't pout), but I know she'll forgive me.  
  
I'll do anything to feel her soft skin just barely brush against mine. Such a simple action makes the temperature rise a few degrees ('that isn't the only thing that rises'). You know I need a mute button for that voice. Now look at me. I'm having a conversation with myself about a voice I created. You got it bad Rabb. You know I think it's time I end this conversation with myself and go after my marine.  
  
Harm quickly got out of his car and made his way to the hotel, and that's when he saw her.

* * *

Whew....Well I finally finished the song. Ran into a little writer's block and took a sledgehammer to it. Hope you enjoyed it so far. Now all you need to do is click on that little lilac button and review. Come on....you know you want to. (devil grin) 


	5. Can we do this?

AN: WOW! Thank you so much for the reviews and suggestions. I decided to let the majority win with a little tweeking from me. I started this out as a POV chapter, but I did allow the characters to have just a dialogue. I also, however, added some of their thoughts into the conversation. To help you all understand, (') is their thoughts and (") is when they are actually speaking.

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**Harm's POV**  
  
Well there's no time like the present they always say. I didn't think I would see her this soon. I was hoping to at least have a little time to think of what to say to her. Oh hell, who am I kidding? I get so tongue tied when I talk to her. I can stand in front of a jury and convince them of my client's guilt or innocence, but I can't string two words together when it comes to talking to her. Well sailor, it's time to command and conquer.  
  
"Hey Mac! Wait up!"  
  
**Mac's POV**  
  
Mac stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
Oh God! I didn't want him to see me like this. I at least wanted to wash my face, and freshen up before I went to see him. Think, marine, think. What can I do now? He's going to know I was crying. It's written plain as day on my face. Man he's going to think I am such a weakling when he looks at my tear stained face. Well I can't very well run away from him. He would just chase after me anyway. Well, suck it up marine; this is what you were waiting for. Even if the timing is a little off.  
  
'Well, that describes our whole relationship' she chuckled in her head.  
  
Mac turned around just in time to see him walk up to her. Her heart stopped beating and her breath caught in her throat. For a moment, she thought she wouldn't be able to go through with this. The fear was slowly creeping upon her, almost overwhelming her. But as quickly as it came, Mac forced it back. She wasn't backing down this time. It was now or never. Offering a weak smile, Mac gazed into his eyes.  
  
"Yes Harm?"  
  
**Harm's POV  
**  
Oh my God! She's been crying! Damn it Rabb, you know it's your fault she's been crying. I would do anything to take away her pain, but I'm the reason she's hurting.  
  
Slowly, his resolve cracked and uncertainty creeped it's way into his heart. He started to doubt if he could go through with this.  
  
What if I screw up? I can't do that to her again! There was a silent war inside his head. One part was telling him to run away and never look back. 'You'll only hurt her and lose her forever if you talk to her now. Can't you see the pain you've already caused her? It's time to cut your losses and move on." The other part was telling him to fight for what he wants. 'You've never backed down from a fight much less a challenge. You have always sought the truth in everything you do. Just look at what you went through to find your father. Why stop now? Sarah is who you want, and you want to find out if she feels the same way as you do. You'll never know unless you ask.'  
  
Minutes ticked by as the wave of emotions played their way across Harm's face. Mac could see the uncertainty there and wondered what was going on in his mind. But before she cold ask, his face changed and a quiet determination set in. The war was over, and her had decided to go for broke. Damn tomorrow! It's time to live for today!  
  
Harm was finally able to find this voice, but what came out was just a whisper. "I.....aahhh.....need to talk to you, Sarah." It was so quiet that he didn't know if she heard him, but she did.  
  
**Mac's POV**  
  
I can't believe it! He called me Sarah! I can count on one hand how many times he has called me by my first name! Just hearing his call me Sarah makes me want to pull his lips to mine and let nature take it's coarse. Then again, he only uses my name when he's really serious about something. I hope what he has to say is the kind of serious I can live with.  
  
'Well stop wondering and get on with it!'  
  
Mac: "Ok. What's on your mind, sailor?"

Harm: "I wanted to talk to you about what happened tonight."

Mac: "Nothing happened tonight Harm." "That's the problem." She said the last part under her breath, hoping he wouldn't hear her, but he did.

Harm: 'Man you really are an ass, Rabb.' "Mac, I wanted to apologize for my behavior this evening on the ferry.

Mac: 'Back to Mac, eh. Well beggars can't be choosers.' "Harm there is nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong." 'Yeah, right.'

Harm: "Yes I did!"

Mac: "Harm, you were a perfect gentleman tonight. What do you think you did wrong?" 'Ok so I lied. I'm not making the first move again tonight.' H

arm: 'Ok. How can I put this so she doesn't run away screaming?' "You know what I did." 'Great Rabb. Just great. That was so eloquently put.'

Mac: 'Oh no. I am not going there with him. I will not dance around this issue anymore.' "Harm, I refuse to have this discussion with you if you are going to speak in code. For once in your life, can't you state what you mean clearly?!"

Harm: I.......uuhhhh....."

Mac: "Well you know where to find me when you decide to have an adult conversation!"  
  
Mac turned on her heel and stormed off towards the hotel, leaving a very befuddled Harm behind.

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Well there it is. I hope you were able to follow along. It sounded fine in my head, but then again, you all are not in my head. Now all you have to do is click on that little lilac button and reply. You know you want to. (evil grin)


	6. Whose there?

AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I would like to take this moment to make a comment though. I love to read reviews. They help to inspire me to write more, but I don't appreciate one of the reviews I have received. He/she probably knows who he/she is. This is how I write my stories. I will not apologize if you don't like the way I write. I will always accept suggestions and constructive criticism when needed, but some remarks should be kept to yourself. That's all I have to say on the matter. I hope the rest of you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

Harm's POV**  
  
Ok, what the hell just happened? You just chickened out again Rabb. Geez, are you that dense? She left the door open for you and all you had to do was walk through it. But no, you had to slam it in her face and padlock it with "the dance" lock.  
  
Damn, am I ever going to get this right. Not only did I hurt her again, I managed to piss her off as well. Those two things don't make a good mix. I need to make this right. I will make this right. I fly a F-14 for goodness sake. They are more risky than Mac. 'Yeah, but you don't risk your heart when you fly,' the little voice interjected. Well telling Mac how I feel is a risk I'm going to have to take. We can't go on like this. It's time I finish this.  
  
Harm started walking towards the hotel with a newfound determination. He was firm with his decision. To him, there was no more backing down.  
  
**Mac's POV**  
  
Mac made her way back to her room. Frustration and anger was oozing from every pore. Trying to find an outlet for her feelings, Mac threw her suitcase full of clothes, pillows, and all the files she could get her hands on across the room. With a big sigh, she plopped down on her bed and put her head in her hands.  
  
What am I going to do with him? He can be so frustrating at times. I can see it in his eyes what he wanted to tell me tonight, but he didn't have the balls to say it. "You know what I did." HA! I'm not even going to touch that statement. Of coarse I know what he did. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Everybody and their mother-in-law could see what he did. He needs to find a different tune to dance to, because I have definitely changed my rhythm. Maybe I should let him sweat it out tonight. I'm too exhausted to keep going in circles with him. I think a nice hot bubble bath is in my future.  
  
Mac got up from the bed and grabbed her pajamas. She had bought a very sexy negligee to wear if she and Harm had gotten this right. She was half tempted to wear it and knock on his door to surprise him. That would take the wind out of his sails for a while. She walked into the bathroom and marveled at the decadence. Well, actually, she just focused on the tub. More specifically, how many people could fit in said tub. Shaking her head to banish where her thoughts were going, Mac turned on the water and steam filled the room. She had bought some chamomile bubble bath at the store before she left for Australia. Somehow she knew she would need it. Before getting in, Mac found a light jazz station on the radio. It was just what she needed to set the mood for relaxation. Mac submerged herself in the tub, closed her eyes, and willed all the worries away. Little did she know, her bath was about to be interrupted.  
  
**Harm's POV**  
  
Outside Mac's door, Harm was forming a plan of action. He decided he would just come out and say what was on his mind. He figured if he would just walk in, tell her how he felt, maybe she would forgive him. That's if Mac will even let him in the room. He knocked on her door and got no response. He stood there knocking for a few minutes before he realized that their rooms were joined. With any luck, Mac didn't lock the joining door. Harm made his way to his room and went to the joining door. Polite as he is, he knocked first before going in. What he saw before his eyes shocked him. Mac's room looked like a tornado went through it. Taking in the site, Harm knew he really pissed her off this time.  
  
"Mac where are you?"  
  
Harm searched the room looking for Mac, but couldn't find her. He was heading towards the bathroom when he heard the soft melody a jazz. Harm raised his hand to knock on the door.  
  
"Mac?"  
  
Inside the bathroom, Mac must have dozed off. The chamomile had done the trick. She was so out of it that she didn't hear Harm calling out to her.  
  
Harm figured Mac had to be in there, and he was getting a little worried when she didn't answer him. Harm tried the door and found it unlocked. Saying a quiet prayer for mercy should his marine ok and just ignoring him, he walked in. Steam was all he could see at first as he made his way into the bathroom. Finding his voice, Harm called out to Mac.  
  
"Hey Mac! You in here?"  
  
That must have done the trick because the next thing he hears is the scream from his marine.  
  
"HARM!!!!"

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Here it is. It may take me a while to update. Sorry. Life has decided to intervene. Now all you have to do is hit the lilac button and review. You know you want to. (evil grin) 


	7. The End?

AN: Well this is the end of this one. Thanks so much for giving me such a pleasant journey through my first fanfic. I hope everyone takes time to check out my next one already in progress, You don't know what you got till it's gone. 

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Covering his eyes and turning around, Harm managed to find his way out of the bathroom and shut the door.  
  
"I'm....I'm sorry Mac. I was knocking on your door, and you didn't answer so I tried to joining door. I was starting to worry about you. Your room looks like a disaster area, and you were nowhere in sight. I knocked on the bathroom door, and you never answered. I thought something happened to you. Again, I'm so sorry."  
  
Harm knew he was trying to justify his actions, but he wanted to show Mac how concerned he was for her safety. When Mac was concerned, Harm would always put her needs first.  
  
Mac got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her. She walked out of the bathroom, and the site before him attacked all his senses. It was as if she walked out of a dream. His dream to be more precise. There were countless nights he dreamed of seeing Mac this way. She was coming out of his bathroom wrapped only in a towel. God she was a sight to envision. His dreams didn't hold a candle to the vision before him now. His breath caught in his throat, and his hands started to sweat. He felt like a teenager trying to ask the prettiest girl to the prom. He tried to speak, but all he could do was stare.  
  
Mac was starting to feel a little uneasy. 'What the hell is going on? All he's doing is staring at me. Why doesn't he say something?'  
  
"Aahh, Harm?"  
  
Her voice seemed to snap him out of his reverie, because Harm's face turned a deep shade of red. Casting his eyes down, Harm was finally able to find his voice. "I'm sorry."  
  
Smiling Mac replied, "You already said that." Seeing him so uneasy, combined with her bath seemed to make her anger dissipate. Those two things, and the look in his eyes gave her a little hope. She had no doubt what she saw this time. It was desire, pure and unadulterated. It was as if he let his walls down and allowed her to see into his very soul. She began to wonder if he was actually ready to have this conversation. She knew she certainly was. She just wanted to lay everything out on the table and sort it all out.  
  
"Mac....Mac? You still with me?"  
  
"Oh...I'm sorry. I was lost in thought?"  
  
Smiling his best flyboy grin: "You weren't the only one. I was a little lost in the clouds a couple of minutes ago."  
  
At the site of his smile, Mac's knees went weak. 'God that smile should be registered with something. I'm not sure what, but it can be lethal on a woman's knees." "You're right, flyboy. Would it be rude of me if I go slip into something a little more comfortable?"  
  
'No, I prefer you just like that. Well not exactly. Lose the towel, and we'll get along just fine. With a mischievous grin he replied, "Sure, take your time."  
  
Mac grabbed her pajamas. She was tempted to wear the negligee, but if the look in his eyes indicated anything, talking would be on the bottom of his list tonight. Not like that would be such a bad thing, but she wanted to clear the air before going to that level with him. Mac quickly changed and walked back out. By this time, Harm had fixed both of them something to drink, and was sitting on the couch waiting for her.  
  
"Harm..."  
  
"Mac...."  
  
They both smiled at each other. Harm was first to speak again. "Normally, I wouldn't mind you going first, but I need to tell you something, and I need to say it now before I lose my nerve. All I ask is that you please not say anything until I'm finished. Ok?"  
  
"Sure Harm. You can start. My lips are sealed." Mac made a lock and key motion over her lips and smiled.  
  
'God I love that smile. Ok, here it goes.' "Mac, first I want to apologize for the way this whole evening has gone. I had an opportunity tonight, and I blew it because I was afraid."  
  
Mac opened her mouth to ask a question, but Harm put his finger to her lips. "You said you would let me finish, remember?"  
  
"Yeah, sorry. Please continue."  
  
With a small grin he continued. "I was afraid of letting go, Sarah. I was afraid of letting someone in. To allow them into the deepest part of my heat. To give them a piece of my soul. To finally feel complete. It scares me to death. I promised myself when my father died that I would never allow anyone close again. It hurt too much to let that happen. I don't want to feel that way again, Sarah. That's why I closed you out. I learned a long time ago how to build my defenses so well that no one would be able to get through them. But you did it. From the first moment I saw you, you found a way through all my defenses. All the things I was afraid to share with someone were for naught. You are in my heart, in my soul, in every fiber of my being. You always have." By they time Harm was finished, he was trembling and his eyes glistened with unshed tears, but he had to continue. He had to get it all out. Falling to his knees in front of Mac, he continued. "I'm so sorry for pushing you away. I never meant to hurt you, but I seem to have a knack for doing that. The memory of your face the day I left you to go back to flying is forever burned into my memory. You asked me that day what about love. Well, I'm telling you, Sarah, right here, right now. It is all about love. It always has. Always will be. I don't want to fight it anymore. I just want to be with you."  
  
Neither realized the silent tears falling from their eyes, and neither made an attempt to hide them. Inside, both were battling emotions that wouldn't back down. Harm was physically and emotionally exhausted after his little speech. He kneeled there with baited breath waiting for Mac's response. Inside Mac's mind was reeling. 'Did he just admit that he loved me? He never actually said the words though. I need to know for sure before I can respond to what he said. "What are you saying Harm?"  
  
"I'm saying I love you, Sarah. I'm in love with you. Always and Forever. That is if you'll have me."  
  
'If I'll have him....If I'll have him. You know he can be so dense sometimes, but I do love him, and I guess it's time he knew it. "First of all, Harm, you have nothing to apologize for. We both have hurt each other numerous times. We both have done our fair share of pushing the other away. I realize your life hasn't been easy, just as you realize mine wasn't either. Everyone that has meant something to me has left me in some way. Each time that happened, I felt a little piece of myself die till I thought I had nothing left to offer. I know I didn't make it easy for you either. I let the past dictate my actions on countless occasions. Like you, I kept a part of me closed off. I refused to allow myself to feel abandoned again. I figured if I did that, than I could never feel that pain ever again. But that isn't how I wanted to live my life. I didn't want to feel closed off from someone I love. I want to have the freedom. To love them unconditionally. I, at first, thought it was impossible, but then you showed me it wasn't. Words can never describe the thanks you deserve for saving me from myself."  
  
Reaching out for her, Mac quickly fell into his arms. "I love you Harm." "I love you Sarah." They stayed that way for several minutes before they took a glimpse into each other's eyes. There, as if looking into a mirror, love appeared in its purest form. For years they had been denying their feelings for each other, and now they have the freedom to express them. Lost in the moment, Harm's lips gently brushed up against Mac's. With that, the dam had broken. Mac pulled Harm to her intensifying the kiss. Harm's tongue glided across Mac's lips, begging for entrance. Mac happily obliged. Neither could get enough of each other. Their taste was intoxicating. A drug that they would never tire of. Mac's hands coursed through Harm's hair, wrapping around his neck. Harm's hands reached around her waist, and they both fell backwards onto the floor. Once she was straddling him, Mac could feel his arousal burning into her. This alone fueled the inferno inside herself. The emotions coursing through them were so raw, so genuine, that neither wanted to stop. They wanted to lose themselves in each other forever. When the need for oxygen became unbearable, they broke off resting their foreheads together. Both were having a very difficult time reclaiming their breath as well as their control. Harm had adjusted his position on the floor, allowing Mac to slide to his side. Once there, she rested her head on his chest. They felt like could lay like this forever. They laid together for several minutes before either on of them could speak. Mac was first to open her mouth.  
  
"As much as I would love to see how far this could go, I think we need to take our time here. I don't want to mess this up."  
  
"I think you're right, Sarah. We have so much more to discuss and work out. I've waited for you for four years. I can wait a little longer."  
  
"Thank you for understanding, Harm."  
  
Harm helped Mac get up and they both decided that it would be best if they slept in their own rooms tonight. They did, however, remain awake, sitting on the couch in each other's arms talking for hours. After seeing Mac yawn for the fifth time, Harm decided he should let her get some sleep. After leaving her with a kiss that took her breath away, started towards his room. He was almost there when Mac called out to him.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"Yeah, Sarah."  
  
"Could you hold me tonight? It felt so good to lay in your arms tonight that I don't want it to end." With a small smile she added, "I promise to behave."  
  
'That's a promise I certainly can't make.' "It would be my pleasure."  
  
Both climbed into bed, and Mac snuggled up to Harm. He quickly engulfed her in his arms and pulled her flush against him. There was no room for air between them, and they didn't even care. Each replayed the night's events over in their heads and one detail stuck out in their minds. That song on the radio. If it hadn't been for that song, who knows where they would be right now. Each came to the same conclusion........What a difference a song makes.  
  
Meanwhile while looking down on his son and his beautiful marine, Harm Sr. smiled and said a prayer for them. "That song was meant to help you both find a way to each other. Take care of each other and love each other forever. I love you, son."  
  
Just before they both drifted off to sleep, Mac heard Harm whisper.... "I love you too dad, and thanks for the help."

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Well that's the end. What did you all think? So you want to see it continue, or leave it be? Let me know. Now all you have to do is hit that little lilac button and reply. You know you want to. (evil grin) 


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